All parents need help. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It is hard as parents to invent the wheel on your own. Especially if you are tired as a parent. If you find it difficult to ask for help, try discussing it with someone you trust. That can also be the family doctor. Having a baby, a busy job and also maintaining relationships with family and friends can be demanding. It is important to have extra support from others when necessary. What does the balance look like for you between stress and support? There are many parents who will be very happy to share their experiences. Discussing the difficult things one faces will help one gain perspective.
Get help: not only good for you but also for your baby.
At a time when families are more on their own, grandparents often have active lives of their own and therefore less time for the grandchildren. If you seek support together as parents, it can help you get through the tropical years better. It is important that couples do not feel that they are on their own. Studies have shown that parents first become somewhat more isolated after the birth of the first child (Amato et al., 2005; Putnam, 2000). In countries where the adage "it takes a village to raise a child" is still taken seriously, researchers have found that if children had multiple primary caregivers, it makes the children stronger and more resilient (Stern, 1987).
Often the deployment of help goes just fine.
Just to be sure, we do mention the importance of being clear as parents to the person from whom you are asking for help. Flying in help from family and especially grandparents can also be a pitfall. Everyone has their own opinion. With so many opinions, it is sometimes difficult to "hear" one's own ideas. A grandmother or grandfather may become involved in family life or caregiving. Or it's never okay how her daughter-in-law treats their grandchild. Difficult relationships can become even more difficult. If there are problems with the grandparents, it is best to state this clearly and distinctly up front and feedback with the partner. The grandparents should not complicate the relationship with their own partner. The grandparents should not stand between the partners or be in the position of sidelining one of the parents.
Agree on how you would like help filled in.
Raising a child succeeds when parents have the cooperation of a few people to prop them up and support them. Emotional and practical support (Martijn & Van Grinsven, 2010). 65% of new parents find it important that there is also support in keeping their own partner relationship healthy. One can, of course, share dilemmas with friends who are in the same boat. Or possibly with family. However, clear agreements must be made with the partner about this. With whom do you express yourself? What are the boundaries in what you can and cannot say? It can sometimes be quite difficult if challenges within the relationship with your partner are shared with your own parents. They are more likely to look partisan. If a couple finds that they really cannot work things out together, it is very important that they seek help from a couples therapist.
It turns out that many parents want parenting information online. Want more information about parenting?
Parents Inc. is here for parents who are in the tropics and want to get the most happiness out of their families!