In our culture, the idea prevails that if a relationshipis"meant to be," it will work out well between two partners no matter what. But in reality, relationships evolve, partners and circumstances change. Our expectations are largely culturally determined. Disney-yes from Mickey Mouse-has had a major influence on our expectations of love and relationships. And they live happily ever after. But the reality is often different. We humans basically all just fiddle around in love. We do our best. All want to give love and be loved, but that is not always possible. If love were a room, it would resemble a messy and somewhat chaotic dorm room.
Help, a baby!
Example on how circumstances can change: for example, a major turning point in a relationship can be parenthood. In one fell swoop you play the role of parents in addition to the role of partners. The partnership is at a lower level in the first years of parenthood. Everything revolves around the baby. When you run into things together, it can be hard to take the time to talk it out. And when things start to teeter between partners, the lack of sleep and time doesn't really cooperate. During this phase, so much is happening at once. It's hard to grasp it all.
Simple relationship test
Because relationships with our partners are an important part of our lives, we want healthy relationships. A well-known scientist says that the best relationship test is actually quite simple. It is a continuum starting with "only negative contact" and at the other end "only positive contact. Most relationships fluctuate in the middle.
Know that if you have something on your mind, for example, you are angry with your partner now, this also colors your glasses and thus this simple test. This makes you put the cross more to the left than to the right. Then share with your partner your frustrations. Now in your mind put a cross on the dotted line below. 0= Negative contact only. 10=Positive contact only.
0 |-------------------------------------|10
Only negative contact Only positive contact
If there is a lot of negativity in the relationship, it is important to look at what you are really struggling with. It is important to indicate to your partner what you are struggling with or what is on your mind. What is of great importance and concern to you. In the online Parents Inc. course, you will further strengthen your relationship in a relaxed and fun way (it is not relationship therapy)!