First, arguing is healthy. Couples with children argue on average 8 times more than couples without children. It is part of a relationship and certainly a parent relationship (never arguing can be a symptom of a dysfunctional relationship!!!). Of course, it is especially important to argue constructively and not destructively.
Especially when you are in the tropical years, the pressure is often high.
Then an argument can get out of hand more easily. The heart rate in the arguers increases during these conversations (both in the parents and in the baby if the latter is present). A few psychological symptoms of a tantrum: because of the high heart rate, one takes in a lot less information. So you no longer hear what your partner is saying. Our body gets a flight-fight response. Something we inherited from our distant ancestors. Our body then reacts to our partner as if he/she were a tiger (or a bear, whichever you prefer). Evolutionarily it seems to make little sense now, but the reality is that in a heated argument our bodies can perceive our partners as life-threatening. And that there is little difference between a confrontation with a Bengal tiger deep in the jungles of Java and the partner in his pajamas with the wrong bottle in his hand. Our brain gets less oxygen and our body is prepared for a fight (when you really don't intend to -if at all). The lower regions of the brain take control. The vital organs get all the oxygen. So we literally become a lot dumber when we have a serious argument.
Your partner can't really do anything right anymore.
When our own physical reaction makes us dumber, because that is what happens at such a time, we can only think in black and white. A partner thinks his own behavior is blameless. One sees only one's own partner's negativity. When one is exhausted and overexcited from weeks of lack of sleep because of yet another baby's ear infection, it is easy to get into such a silly argument.
So does this say something about the relationship?
No, not necessarily. This says something about the fact that the transition to parenthood can be tough. About a primal reaction we inherited from our distant ancestors. So conflict management is key!
How to do that we will teach you in the online course.